This Week in #MomFails: Separation Anxiety & Hungry Zombie Hoards

Teddy has been going through some MAJOR separation anxiety for the past two weeks.

At first I thought it was me being gone for a few days for work, but it’s been long enough since that I don’t think that’s the case. And I know it’s not his preschool – he loves it there! (He even commissioned the “art” above and I drew each of his classmates upon request.)

So? Just another fun little phase in the life of a toddler? A fun little phase that has led me to some really terrible mom habits. Like every morning at daycare drop off, I’ve been letting him choose whatever item he wishes out of his lunch box to eat for second breakfast. (The first real breakfast is at home before we leave.) It’s usually gummies.

Which has led to conversations where I’m talking up every item in the lunch box, and a small swarm of two-year-olds gathers around us to observe.

Me: “Gummies? Cookies? Yogurt?”

Teddy: Grumpy looks of disinterest, no verbal response, and attempts to cling to me like a marsupial.

Classmate 1: “I like gummies!”

Classmate 2: “I like cookies!!!”

Teddy: Hmph. Begrudgingly accepts gummies.

Growing Hoard of Two Year Olds: Begins pawing at his pile of gummies like zombies in a movie that have picked off one of the main characters.

Me:Teddy share your gummies with your friends!”

*Feeding frenzy ensues. Teddy grows defensive and grumpier because stock in gummies has risen and he now wants in.*

It’s a hot mess. So much so, I’ve started bringing TWO packs of gummies – one to distract Teddy from my leaving, the other to distract the hungry zombie hoard. So yeah, I guess I am destined to be THAT mom. I hope his teachers forgive me for the chaos. And the moms of Alex, Logan, Weston, Jacob and Ezra are cool with them all having sugar at 8 am.

Yesterday, I kicked it up a notch and drove through Dunkin Donuts for some munchkins instead of donuts. If this continues to escalate, the kid’s going to school with a pet pony in about a month.

Whimper.

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