The Purge Week 3: Dining Rooms and Real Life
I’m late. You guys probably thought I’d forgotten about you.
“She hasn’t posted the challenge! I don’t know what to clean! I want to wiiiiin!”
I promise that isn’t the case. This question probably doesn’t even need to be asked, but have you ever had one of those weeks that makes you wish you could just swipe it off the calendar as if it never happened? A “When it rains, it pours” sort of week? This Texoma family has had THAT kind of week.
For your amusement, and to hopefully make those of you who are also having THAT week feel a little better, here is a peek into what has taken place…
*The check engine lights in both of our cars came on, and my van (THE BRAND NEW ONE) can’t be driven until it gets fixed. Ford asks, “Do you want a loaner car?” I asked the service guy if he wanted some loaner children, because he would have to take at least one for us to be able to fit into anything they have. He laughed, then deadpanned when he realized I did, indeed, say seven and no, I wasn’t joking. The slightly terrified look on his face was very amusing. Really, guy, why ELSE would I drive that giant van?
*After three days of no accidents in his underwear, I bravely (and stupidly) ventured to the library with my three year old and didn’t put him in a pull-up. The new children’s area has become quite the popular hang out. Somehow he managed to poop AND pee in his pants within five minutes of arriving. I bummed a pull-up off a friend, because…I forgot my diaper bag. I did remember it when we were halfway to the library and turned around to go get it, only to get home and realize that for the second time that week, I was locked out of the house. In all fairness, it was my husband who locked himself out the other time. So, we were THAT family, with the pant-less little boy running around in a too small princess pull-up. If you’re wondering, I threw that underwear in the trash (Sorry, children’s area librarian. I do realize that the children’s bathroom will probably never smell the same).
After fulfilling our daily public nudity quota, we headed to the fire department to grab house keys from my husband. Five minutes after arriving back home someone informed me we were out of night time diapers. Loaded into the car and headed off to everyone’s favorite place: Walmart. (Sense my sarcasm) Tramped through the store with my tired and grumpy kids for 25 minutes only to get to the checkout counter and learn that one of my darling children had taken my wallet out of the bag. Did I mention that earlier that day I had somehow managed to burn two dozen eggs? You know the three year old who pooped his pants? He politely asked why I “wanted to ruin their food”. Thanks, kid.
*”Can we cook hot dogs over the burn pit for dinner and have s’mores?” the kids asked. What? No dishes? Absolutely! Forget the fact that six children and one newborn with hot pokers crowded around a fire is probably an accident waiting to happen. You’d like to with fireman dad my kids would be extra careful around open flames. You’d be wrong. They’re pyromaniacs with a lack of respect for personal space. This resulted in me almost getting my eye poked out not once but TWICE. And with a double poker. So eyes. Plural. I almost got my EYES poked out twice. Guess which kid did that? I’ll give you a hint: he probably STILL smells like poop.
*Finally a day of relief. My daughter’s best friend had a birthday, so her mama came to get us and we all had a girls day: Target shopping, Rock Star pedis, and lunch. My tenacious husband stayed home with six boys and in the middle of lunch I got this FaceTime:
Yes. That is poop. On my kitchen floor. I told you guys, real life.My son (do I really need to tell you which one at this point?) had walked into the kitchen proudly announcing that he needed to go potty, and then went. SURPRISE! At some point during the day he had taken off his underwear, so it fell through his pant leg and straight onto the floor. I couldn’t help but laugh, probably because I was sitting in Olive Garden eating lunch and not home having to clean it up.
All that, and I still hadn’t finished my challenge yet anyway. Guys. IT WAS ONE OF THOSE WEEKS. Sheesh. So, without further adieu, here is an embarrassing photo of what my dining room buffet table has looked like for waaaaay too long.
Ridiculous, I know.
So, let’s see your dining rooms/eating spaces! Don’t forget to comment below that you’re participating, and post your before and after pictures on our Facebook page!