Deciding to Become A Parent

I found this photo when I was browsing around old pictures the other day, and it made me chuckle. (God was DEFINITELY laughing when I wrote it.)

To give you a point of reference, Teddy was born November 2015. Between the time I wrote this and the time I had actually gotten pregnant I was almost 30 years old, failed to pay off any credit cards, took a grand total of two yoga classes, gained weight instead of lost it, and changed jobs twice (losing all vacation accruals and longevity bonuses and incentives). Not to mention the eight months it took to actually conceive. (I like how my chart shows IMMEDIATE results, lol.)

Basically, nothing went accordingly to plan.

(Shocking! Revolutionary! News at 11!!)

I share this mostly for people who have yet to become parents, but also for those of us that already are. Because I think we create for ourselves such rigid construct of the “right” way to do things we lose sight of the big picture.

There was a point in 2014 where my husband and I finally just accepted that we were never going to be in the “perfect” scenario to have a child. And I realized that lack of perfect required a leap of faith.  (And that nothing in life is perfect, so literally everything about being an adult is taking a leap of faith.)

So we went with our hearts and our prayers, and I think it turned out alright.

Now, Teddy is three and a half, and my family and friends have begun asking questions about when or if he will have a sibling. But this time I’m not going to make charts and graphs and try not to stress out about my biological clock and the ever-widening age gap between Teddy and his potential future brother or sister. (Even though, yes, it stresses me out.)

Right now my feelings on the subject are SUCH a mixed bag. The ambivalence I feel is one of the reasons I’m directing myself away from charts and graphs, and towards prayer, and acceptance of the imperfection of life.

Basically, don’t expect any “special announcements” from me any time soon. Lol.

Question for the group: How did you decide it was time for baby #2? I’m genuinely very, very curious about your honest answers on this. My own personal experiences and challenges have led me to believe that no one would intentionally do that to themselves a second time (lol), and that all second children must be “surprises” – but I know that can’t be true.

 

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2 thoughts on “Deciding to Become A Parent

  1. Kids are a blessing. It is nice to try and prepare yourself financially, but you can’t prepare and plan for everything. We knew we wanted children, I wanted them close together, but we were flat broke, I broke my ankle and was on crutches and a cane for a year, and my mom had her cancer come back. When I got pregnant with Trinity I was providing almost 24 hr hospice care for my mother and trying to raise Stephanie. I would sleep when my dad came home or when the respite people were there. Most of the time I would sleep in the chair. Not a good time, but when she was born, she was one of the only reasons I could temporarily come out of my deep depression. God knows what we need and when we need it. Trust him, not your paper plans.